13-Years After 9/11 – We Remember Them

Please take a moment to remember the souls we lost 13 years ago.

Kindness Blog

It is now Thirteen years since the devastating September 11 attacks, which killed almost 3,000 people and injured countless others.

We remember, through a selection of photographs, those that were lost and the serviceman and volunteers who rose up and showed their bravery and kindness to us all.

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“Make glorious, amazing mistakes.”

I Loved This Post On “Make Glorious, Amazing Mistakes”!!! Live and Learn is What Life is About!!!

The Daily Post

In Neil Gaiman’s now famous 2012 commencement speech at the University of the Arts, he offers some excellent advice to free us from perfectionism, imploring us to simply create — to make art — no matter what. What’s wonderful about this advice is that it applies to any creative endeavour, regardless of whether your art form is writing, drawing, painting, sculpting, or découpage:

I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes.

Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You’re doing things you’ve never done before, and more importantly, you’re Doing Something.

So that’s my wish for you, and all of us, and my wish for myself. Make New Mistakes. Make glorious, amazing mistakes. Make mistakes nobody’s ever made before. Don’t freeze, don’t stop, don’t worry that it isn’t good…

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ACCEPTANCE

I haven’t written anything for so long because I have been all over the place with my health and emotions. I have been on a roller coaster ride holding on for dear life lately but somehow been keeping it together for the outside world, other than a couple of close friends. I hate showing weakness and vulnerability. I like to keep a positive attitude and I am very grateful for all the blessings I know I have. But lately I have been overwhelmed with life and feeling like I had nowhere to turn. I know my family is tired of me being sick, as I was reminded that it has been 6 years of illness and operations, so I know I can’t go to any of them for any support and I hate bothering people as everybody has stuff.

Why has this time been particularly challenging?? One of the bigger issues is dealing with the aftermath of my Craniotomy. I am 4 months post-op and not doing nearly as well as I had hoped for. I am still getting a lot of pain, intermittent infections and extreme fatigue. I have been down this road before, many times and after 9 operations and my hopes being lifted up and then dashed so many times, enough is enough. I can’t take it. It is what it is.

Life’s bumps and changes on the home front have been particularly challenging lately. Feeling overwhelmed has manifested into having multiple panic attacks a day a lot of the time, which have been debilitating. I have been chewing on anti-anxiety meds like they are candy. Some days are better than others thank God. So add this on top of the fibro which has been kicking my butt and my other health issues, it’s been difficult.

Unfortunately, after 4 years of being separated, there has been a lot of discord and upset with my ex-partner that has left me reeling. He is a bully and likes to be the most difficult when I am feeling really rough, kind of like kicking a dog when they are down. Certain issues were handled poorly and with the stress of everything else put me in a pretty bad way. I know I am strong but I find since this last surgery, my recovery is very slow and it doesn’t take much to set me back. So I realized I had to take control of my life back, no matter how worn out I was feeling and not let him or anyone affect me like this. So I decided to make some changes such as to not put myself in the line of fire anymore, which I only did for the sake of my daughter and take my power and self-esteem back. It’s hard when you are sick but I have to help myself because nobody else is going to do it.

The following is a list of the decisions and changes that I have made:

1) Have no interaction with my ex other than by email when we need to communicate about any issues.

2) Drop my daughter off and pick her up without going into the house and making friendly conversation….he is not my friend. I tried for my daughter, over and over. It doesn’t work.

3) Accept that it is better for my daughter to have the stability of living in one place, her dad’s house, all week while attending high school (1st year) so she has the stability and routine she needs. I am not well enough to take care of her consistently and I need to do what is best for her even if it means I have to let her go a little bit more. I only want the very best for her.

4) Accept my new normal regarding my sinus. The specialist explained to me recently that even after my Craniotomy and all the work they did in there, the extent of my disease Is that which I will never get better, but hopefully the disease will be more manageable allowing me a better quality of life at some point, but it will always remain a challenge for him and for me. I am grateful to be alive and know it could be much worse.

5) I have decided to move to lighten my financial load, have given my notice and am now looking for a smaller place that my daughter can spend weekends with me.

Accepting doesn’t mean giving up. To me it means to stop beating myself up and feeling bad about my health and the limitations it has given me, accepting where I am in my life and to lighten up on myself. I am my own worst critic and my Type ‘A’ personality is always in the background whispering to me, but my New Normal is to stop, breathe, love and accept myself the way I am and to keep moving forward, open to the beauty of life and do my best to not get stuck in the shit!! </

Thank you for listening. It means a lot to me if you dropped in and it feels good to get this out and get busy with moving forward and to continue to work on losing the fear.

Sent from my iPhone